


Submitted for Your Approval

by Kahvi



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-20
Updated: 2010-04-20
Packaged: 2017-10-09 01:31:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/81531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kahvi/pseuds/Kahvi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain Hollister and Todhunter deal with an interesting job application.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Submitted for Your Approval

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the lovely [](http://roadstergal.livejournal.com/profile)[**roadstergal**](http://roadstergal.livejournal.com/) on a whim; she suggested I post it here. Insipired by [this Danish news story](http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100408/ap_on_bi_ge/eu_denmark_carlsberg_beer_strike) (and yes, it has been confirmed not to be an April Fools joke).

Todhunter tore the sheet out of the protesting machine with a sigh. Folding it neatly in half, he walked over to the Captain's desk, and handed it over. Hollister took the sheet, nodding absent-mindedly.

He unfolded it. Todhunter coughed.

Hollister took another sip of his coffee, then frowned. His eyes did not leave the paper as he fumbled in the top drawer of his desk, eventually finding a battered pair of reading glasses. He put them on. Todhunter looked at his boots, comparing the relative level of sheen on each to the other.

Eventually, Hollister coughed again. "Yes," he said, putting the paper down. From his vantage point, Todhunter could just about make out the blurred outline of the first paragraphs.

"Indeed."

"Of course, I don't speak Danish."

"I appreciate that, Captain. Neither do I."

"But those were really accurate drawings of Carlsberg bottles." Hollister narrowed his eyes, wistfully. "You know, I spent a semester in Copenhagen back in college. Flattest country you ever saw; you could drop one of those bottles on the ground, and they wouldn't even start rolling."

Todhunter, who had taken several credits in physics, considered commenting, but thought better of it.

"Was there..." Hollister made a somewhat resume-like motion with his hands, "a CV or something?"

"Not really, no. Just the one sheet. And an mp3 of a song about bananas."

"Bananas?"

"Apparently the applicant felt it would underline one of his points." Todhunter leaned across the desk, pointing to a paragraph, if that was the word, towards the end of the page.

"Ah. Yes. I thought that was..."

"...apparently not, sir."

"I see."

"Sir," Todhunter coughed again, "I don't wish to press the issue, but half of Z-shift quit after the incident on Miranda."

Hollister sighed. "God dammit. Isn't there anything we can do about that man?"

"I'm afraid not, sir. He never actually breaks any rules. He's just really, really bad at his job, sir. And his people skills are" he hesitated, looking for the right word, "nonexistant, sir."

"Fine; fine! I get the picture. All right; this guy's in. Does he speak English?"

"This... application was the attatchment to an e-mail mentioning something about breakfast and 'morning food', and a rather long diatribe about whether or not we called lunch 'lunch."

"We'll take that as a 'yes', then. Get him on board, and find him a bunk. Chen and Selby should have room for a third."

Nodding, Todhunter swiped the paper off the desk. One down, he thought, far too many to go.


End file.
